I will turn 60 years old in a month. While the thought of leaving my 50s doesn’t bother me, it seems there may be a way for me to avoid turning 60 while still remaining upright and on this side of the sod.
Dutch disc jockey Emile Ratelband has asked a Dutch court to declare him 20 years younger than he actually is. The 69-year-old, who describes himself as a “personal development entrepreneur” on his website, wants to be 20 years younger to help with job prospects and help his chances with women on dating websites.
The court is expected to rule on the request in four weeks.
I understand there are ways folks try to look and feel younger. From coloring one’s hair to having cosmetic surgery, looking younger is big business in today’s world. I also know the same is true about dating websites.
I have a lot of questions about this if the court rules in Ratelband’s favor. First of all, if a court can rule that I’m say, 35 years old instead of 60, will I look and feel like I’m 25 years younger? What will that do to my life insurance rates? Will my eyebrows suddenly revert back to what they used to look like instead of looking like a pair of white, woolly caterpillars they resemble now?
Think of the implications for math classes. When it comes to addition, suddenly 20 + 49 = 49. I have no idea how this would affect subtraction, but I’m pretty sure multiplication and long division are done as we know it.
I also have questions about dating sites. As one who has traveled around the sun for six decades, meeting someone via the internet seems foreign to me.
Back in my day, if you liked a person, you let them know it by telling a friend who knew a friend that was friends with the person you liked. No direct contact was made with the person you liked until it had been confirmed through a series of whispers from person to person that they liked you too. (This seems like a good time to let readers know they shouldn’t assume that I am using a personal example here. You can’t prove that and there were no cell phones with cameras back then.)
Eventually, you and your romantic interest attended a school dance where you sat next to each other in total silence until the local band played “Nights in White Satin” (quite poorly I might add) and your friends nudged the two of you out to the dance floor.
Since it was likely your parents were dance chaperones, there was no physical contact made between you and your dance partner and at no time during the evening did the subject of anyone’s age come up.
Now that is all changed. People meet via online sites. I’m sure some folks lie about their age when they put their profile on the sites. I don’t see that as a good thing, but then I’m almost 60. At least until the court decides whether one can actually change their age just because they want to be younger.
But I have one nagging question.
How can someone be a disc jockey, a personal development entrepreneur, challenge his age in court, and have time to date?